Its that time again. Every two years, the world comes together to compete. But, for Canada, there is only a real shot at victory every 4. That is because the Winter Olympics are where our bread is buttered, so to speak. This is the time for champions and competitors to duke it out at the highest stage. And we have a chance. Skiing, hockey, skating, curling, luge. These are things that are in the blood of Canadians across the country. The blood, the sweat, the snow. Its what made us. Well, some of us anyway.
If you are like me, and most people are, you have little to no athletic ability. Sure, you may be able to get down a mountain with your limbs intact, and you could have even played some hockey in your time. But you need to be honest with yourself. Most people just are not cut out for peak competition, and you know it. If you are a stoner, there’s almost no chance.
Unless you’re Michael Phelps, you probably aren’t getting to the Olympics as a weed smoker. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t celebrate them in your own way. So, for the sake of the country, here are some ways you can enjoy the Olympics as a stoner.
1. Smoking Games
This is the best way to get stoned and watch the Olympics. Why not make a fun game out of watching another fun game. You have probably tried out drinking games before, but never smoking games. This is a warning in advance, you will get very high doing this.
We recommend picking a few different actions that call for you to smoke each time they occur. Pack a small bowl and make sure to take baby hits, so you don’t get too high. Also, once you feel it kicking it very hard, don’t be afraid to stop. Here are some ideas for what you can do.
- Take a bong rip every time a Canadian wins a medal
- Take a hit every time the announcer mentions North Korea
- Take a hit every time a figure skater falls
- Take a hit every time an American brings up the Miracle On Ice
These are obviously just a few suggestions. Have fun with it and come up with your own. You’ll be on your way to Olympics bliss in no time.
2. Host Your Own Weed Olympics
This is for the more active stoners among us. Instead of just watching someone else compete, why don’t you try it on your own. As with before, make sure you are careful because you are certain to get absolutely ripped.
Pick a few events with some friends. We’ll give you a few to test out.
- Who can hold a bong rip the longest?
- Who can kill a bowl the fastest?
- Who can take the most hits without coughing?
Come up with some of your own and test this idea out. May the best stoner win!
3. Watch Every Event
This is for the laziest smokers in the cut. You don’t have to do anything special to enjoy the Olympics while high because just watching them stoned is pretty fun on its own. You can catch a live stream by looking up the NBC coverage online. It basically plays 24/7.
Obviously, don’t let it get in the way of you living your normal life, but when you have a day off, why not just watch every event and get high? Seriously, have you watched curling while stoned? Its the most exciting event out there. You can become an expert on figure skating and learn the ins and outs of the relationship between Tessa Virtue and Stephen Moir. In other words, the sky is the limit.
4. Hit the Ice
There’s nothing stopping you from heading and having some fun while also high. Try figure skating or skiing with a little weed in the system. Be careful when doing anything dangerous, but you can certainly have a blast with a little buzz on the ice. Try some more active weed strains for the best use of this.
5. Become an Olympian
We will admit that this is a bit of a copout considering the premise of the article, but what are you gonna do. The truth is that you can still smoke weed and participate in the game of games. This is a new development thanks to science and a lighter public outlook on weed. The commission has spoken, and you can smoke now… as long as you are not in competition.
Recent rule changes have pulled back on the strict prohibition of weed in the systems of Olympians. You still can’t light up as you ski down the slopes, but throughout the year, you can puff to your heart’s desire.
Now, we’re being honest. Smoking can hurt your cardio, and makes some people very tired and lazy. But it can stimulate muscle recovery and help in a variety of other medical issues. You probably can’t decide just today to become an Olympian and do it, but never say never. There are so many possibilities in this world, and all you need is a little imagination. And what boosts your imagination better than a little green.
And there you have it. You can be a champion too. Find you own way to celebrate your country men who are out in Pyeongchang while in the comfort in your own home. Do not worry about feeling left out in the cold world. You can be a stoner and love the Olympics just like everyone else.
So smoke and watch or smoke and play or smoke and just relax. The option is up to you, but you have the chance to celebrate and get high as a kite. We recommend you try it out. Until next time, stay strong!